“I drink, I feel. Fuck. It’s been a little over two months now since I last saw you and tonight of all nights, this one hurts like a motherfucker. I would give and do anything to see you, to hear you — to feel you! To have you close to me! Ugh, reality IS black and white. Impossible. I miss what I felt when I was with you! Not love, not lust — it was a kind of warmth not emanating from heat, but from an undefinable source. That look of profound loneliness in your brown eyes, similar to mine — searching, searching for an unknown. Oh, I would give anything so that I could give you the kind of embrace only a man in my position could. I want to kiss your neck, look into your eyes and tell you just how much I’ve missed you.”
“I can feel the breeze of new hope and new luck. I use to feel as if my whole life, as I knew it, was at any moment on the verge of shatter, by no one’s doing but my own. Now looking back I know I’ve already crossed the line and somehow survived.Nothing means anything without you.
Something’s starting to go right.
“What should I be tasting—sweet love? I’ve been dreaming about that pure selfless nectar since my Disney days. Do you find these notions whimsical—overgrown for true life? Is this play to nip our tender and ever peaking desires?
Oh, I’m sorry. Were you offering a peach? Always tempting me, I see. Fuzzies caressing my lips; juices overrun with my bite! Bless this mess! Is it peach season? I only like ‘em cali grown.”
“Darling, I’ll bring you flowers ‘til I pick the neighborhood, and beyond, clean. I’ll definitely be your floral bandit. I’ll also make sure to do it with a smile. =) How does that sound?”
“So you’ve never been in love. You’ve never tasted the air in a thousand colors hit your lungs in a wave of heaviosity.You feel awkward. That’s why you run so much. It’s a control thing, your relationship with your body.
You over-intellectualize. Then you rationalize and fill your time with a million other things.
All the jogging, the yoga, the tennis, the hiking, the bike riding, the snowboarding… none of it will fill the void. You can’t move fast enough.
To connect requires vulnerability. You have to be brought close, to feel your heart beat hard. You have to give up control, give up comfort.
I’ll make a safe place for you — a place you can let it all fall away. Just take a step towards me.”